Well wat a eventful start to June
mite as well rite up a post where im the protaganist
Basically at nite this is wat ive done studying, test, studying, ISSUES Project....FML....lol
well over this week i finally realise why curry men are so romantic in their own manner. When i mean by romantic images of french kisssing, flowers, and ....that stuff pommels straight into your third eye. But when i think of romantic and curries... i see true love (BEVER and FRANKLIN), not that stupid attraction but actual pure, unconditional love. The love where you can talk about wat ever u want witout any hinderence, give and take, regular talks, OPENESS (first point), the point where sex and objects(and yes i said it) are not needed to show how much u love them but by actually showing them it. Oh shit i sounded like my mentor just then...DANG
*Change in topic*
Ahhhhhh yes, the title it all relates back to CHOICES
The small, small choices we make....the big, big choices we make all hit us in the end. I mean on monday i decided to stay home on the pretence of studying, but wat i do instead i managed to safetly take in two glasses wit any side effects...well only a slight headache
BUT NO im not your typical idiot who drinks so he doesnt need to worry about the nite ahead of him of picking up chicks and showing of to ure mates. NO NO NO NO (one for extra punch) NO
I actually wanted to see what my dad and all my mates see in this "legal drug"....and as far as i see it, when taken steadily its effective. It takes away any pain, any sorrow, any pain, and instead lets u be more open to what is fighting inside u...the good and the bad...the reality and dreams...truth and lies and to be honest, i found myself to really place myself where in the hell i am in life.
I can hear it in your minds...gearing away realising that guy who was gonna go somewhere is now throwing everything away for something this shit. But hey, if u really knoe me, u would knoe that i would think 1 time before i talk, 10 times before i plan something, and 100 times before i do something....AND THEN U CANT CHANGE IT But then again i havent been living up to my values lately, and ive been thinking about it....i feel like doing something but then again it makes me look like the loser so....i aint gonna do shit....like the wise PAPA BEAR said------Show them who the better man is------beautiful one liner.
Which leads me onto my second half of my titile(hehe) yes well hmmm....how can i put it without being looked down upon....(SHUT UP ULAI) well i kind of went on a 4 k run, found the boxing bag to be not upto the task so.... i went to the tiny park 10 metres down my house and demolished three poles, a bent pole and a two bent gates.....yes and this resulted in my left knuckles to bleed and my right to be bruised (i have to get back into the groove). But then again thats not bad considering i have no training from Martial arts or any kind of self defence style.....in fact i havent even gone to a gym (much to the disgrace of myself and to my cousins). Oh yes remind me to work on my arms and trapeziums......Big boy Gorrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeen, loved our topless talk afterschool on wednesday ;)......
But coming back to my main concept if i made the choice not to...most likely now i would be either litening to music that would only make me worse....hmmmmmm but then again even though it hurt like a bitch when blood started to pour out after the second punch in the second gate (Mi star dont fret about this...u arent meant to) i felt like i was gonna finally prove to myself that i can deal with change, and take on a new avatar that can be a paradox (suck on that lit people)smooth but aggressive, aggresive yet with manners, manners with cunning. Yes, im dead serious rite now....sometimes i wonder whether i should have hid that kid inside me instead letting him run riot leaving a blaze of devastation that one could not phantom from such a person....well obviously not many people would have knew about the boy i was and the thing i am now hmmmm......
people ask if im ok basically throughout the school day on the first three days of the school week, thank u from the bottom of my heart but then again some of the shit ive been hearing isnt the material that i thought some of these people are made of....hmmm perfect anology for such people are the different major 3 parts trees, swaying towards the direction best suited for them.
-Their backgrounds their roots, snaking and taking water and nutrients in what there family has
-their school as their trunk, the place where they are fully awake to everything around them
-Their groups as the branches, changing direction for the strongest
-Themselves on the leaves, going along wit the flow
i dont know if it made sense but i swear if people dont act like idiots who actually care in front of me, all hell is gonna break loose. Id rather u say to my face that im a sore loser than use other forms to see what is happening. Funny how much times i have said the words PUNCH ON across the year, but then i see it as a choice(yes if u dont like go suck on it). U can settle a matter, and any matter in fact, on it and go away with no other conscience. However i knoe that there are other repercussion and it can turn out fatal in many ways more than one. Then u have the side when arguments were solved without a good old fist fight. Bitching, swearing, grudges, smear campaigns to give u a taste of shit thats past my way, when shit like this werent solved at the start. Yes i knoe, u would thinking its bullshit but then think again, have u in the last month thought about talking behind a person's back about what she or he has done? Have u talked on line through chat about wat this person feels for that person? Have u talked about why this person feels this way....well for many instances, i know that many of it were started to get back at people....and steering rite for the JoMo way....spread it like a tiny spark in dense, dry drought affected forests.
hmmmmm a bit to personal but then again its only my thoughts just rolling on like a ball down a mountain.....reaching a crescendo, with big fireworks. But, the thing is, im not in a school where i can do shit all and still look like the good boy. No, at the spaceship, the burden of House captain especially for me is one that restricts me in many ways...however lets me do shit but then even the circle im often seen as the bludger even though im giving a different perspective in a light mannered way...hmmmmmm
Bueno adiós (well maybe not Bueno for some who dare think they can blame me for some shit)
But i believe that i said that my good mate was gonna write up a poem......well he did, and its to heavy for me to post it up, its one cracker of a poem could even use it up as a song but damn man (yes that means u) it makes u cry (yes i got a tear or two forming) but i aint gonna show u guys his brilliance yet, he needs time to kill, i think seeing her makes it even worse...the bastards even thought about ending it all. But as we all knoe who comes to the rescue ME and shown him the world so remember dont think about messin wit him coz he knows when that's happening
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