Drop the world on YOU

I got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes
Hate in my heart, love in my mind
I seen nights full of pain, days of the same
You keep the sunshine, save me the rain
I search but never find, hurt but never cry
I work and forever try, but I’m cursed, so never mind
And it’s worse, but better times seem further and beyond
The top gets higher the more that I climb
The spot gets smaller, and I get bigger
Tryna get into where I fit in, no room for a n*gga
But soon for a n*gga it be on, mu’f*cka
‘Cause all the bullshit, it made me strong, mu’f*cka

So I pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
Bitch, I’ma pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
And I could die now, Rebirth motherf*cker
Hop up in my spaceship and leave Earth, motherf*cker
I’m gone
Motherf*cker, I’m gone

I know what they don’t wanna tell you
Just hope you’re heaven-sent, and you’re hell-proof
I-I walk up in the world and cut the lights off
And confidence is the stain they can’t wipe off
Huh, my word is my pride
But wisdom is bleak, and that’s a word from the wise
Served to survive, murdered and bribed
And when it got too heavy I put my burdens aside

So I could pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
Bitch, I’ma pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
And I could die now, Rebirth motherf*cker
Hop up in my spaceship and leave Earth, motherf*cker
I’m gone
Motherf*cker, I’m gone (I’m gone)

It hurts, but I never show this pain you’ll never know
If only you could see just how lonely and how cold
And frostbit I’ve become, my back’s against the wall

When push come to shove, I just stand up and scream “F*ck ‘em all”

Man, it feels like these walls are closing in
This roof is caving in, up its time to razor-thin
Your days are numbered like pagers and
My book of rhymes, got ‘em cookin’, boy
This crooked mind of mine got ‘em all
Shook and scared to look in my eyes
I stole that f*ckin’ clock
I took the time and I
Came up from behind
And pretty much snuck up
And butt-f*cked this game up
Better be careful when you bring my name up
F*ck this fame, that ain’t what
I came to claim but the game
Ain’t gonna be the same on the day that I leave it
But I swear one way or another I’ma make these f*ckin’ haters believe that
I swear to God, won’t spare the rod
I’m a man of my word, so your f*ckin’ heads better nod
Or I’ma f*ck around in this bitch and roast everybody
Sleep on me, that pillow is where your head’ll lie
Permanently, bitch, it’s beddy-bye
This world is my Easter egg, yeah, prepare to die
My head is swole, my confidence is up
This stage is my pedestal
I’m unstoppable, incredible
Hope you’re trapped in my medicine ball
I could run circles around you so fast your f*ckin’ head’ll spin, dog
I split your cabbage and your lettuce and olives
I’ll f*ckin’

Pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
Bitch, I’ma pick the world up and I’ma drop it on your f*ckin’ head
And I could die now, Rebirth motherf*cker
Hop up in my spaceship and leave Earth, motherf*cker
I’m gone
Motherf*cker, I’m gone (I’m gone)

SBS, Chromosomes, an update and fortunate kids

Ahhhhhh its been sometime since i got onto my own space....and my avid readers have been complaining

I cbf wit exams and that whole period....mite as well leave it blank

Im not going to start on the world cup....dismal performances, cant beleive i went to fed square to watch the soccer to be let down...as well as forming icicles down my groin region (i still cant properly feel it down there :P) but it was great fun being free. However the one thing i cant get, is the coverage of the soccer-------SBS, arent they that channel where u flick on friday night for your erotic fantasies (dont ask me ive been told by people...honest). I swear, they must be getting more people flicking onto that damn channel on Monday morning than they have this whole year. Bloody hell, at least the real top gear buffons would know that sbs only worthwile show was the latest top gear episodes, but now that has gone its more like the chanel u would only switch to see if there was any 'intersting' documentaries.....

But on Friday, during maths we somehow got a example of chromosomes and shit like that. Bloody hell, but this kind of set of thoughts through me....those genes map out ure life,

i mean me and father both can gain muscle fast (thats rite), we both are hairy....shut up mate, and we have had some bad experiences but then both my mum and i have dense bones, thick skins, and near same personalities...

shit but i at times i wonder what if appa was a bit more taller, i to could be 6 foot like my cousins, what if i didnt get my dad's nose that is great for him but shit for me..... its just idk wat i did to get myyself in this trap, but i have to be lucky i must say

Funniest shit, monday night i had my appointment wit a doctor i havent seen any ages bascially for a year (IM A WEETBIX KID) and shes gone and asked me to take of my top ;) god appa was like WTF and turned away, but i just took it of and then BAM-SHA-KA-LA-KA

hahahaha naa it was more like....what have u done to ureself, ure face is black but ure body is white.... LOL, u see for our curry parents, there is certain pride in the more fairer kid. Bloody hell, how many times have i seen it, the more fairer or more handsome kid getting the affection from the oldies while the dark horse (Guess who) is left for the scraps. Thing is i seriosly havent thought about it in this sense coz i was carefree, but now shitt all these thoughts are popping in. But i think in the curry world, there is a big notion about getting the best person as ure partner----and one if that characteristic is to be fair, good job, and good marks

I swear my mate who i have now got u guys to get acquainted to.... yeah well we had a convo and ill show u an excert of what he thinks on the topic of marks and girls.

Strike me down but did i ask to get a fairly shit score....no....but why does it hurt when my dad does the whole i work hard for u, give u everything, and what u return back....im disappointed in u....

do u knoe that i to knoe ure struggles, the pain, the anguish. What i would do to swap positions so u can get that second chance u want so badly to get out of the shit hole u work in rite now. Hell, why do stuff and then feel bad...is it being guilty, or is it because i cant keep up the burden of having all ure dreams and plans on my broadening shoulders....yes i stopped all excersices cause u said so but wtf do i get back...a whole lot of shit...did i ask to fall for a .......nup lets not go there mate but it hurts, its going away slowly but eventually but i cant bring my face to a metre to hers, im not sure what would happen....would i yell at her, would i kiss her, or would i stand there solomenly just wishing it was all a drama whose end would finish wit a happy ending....but u knoe wat there's that chick in yr 8 i was talking about yeah...damn has she grown into a stunner, and there is a bit of sparks still there, mite have to rekindle them but then again....i dont wanna be hurt again

Well atleast he's getting there... but shit im not gonna commentate on his thoughts, but i hate to be him rite now. Coming from the top of the sky to now rock solid is tuff, real tuff but hes pulling through. Ithink having time to think was good for the kid but it still....hang in there

But while we r on the topic of kids (just quickly).....just be careful what u see in them, i was at a tiny party for a uncle, and shit there was these two kids who from afar looked like ure average 7yr old, but upclose, they both were suffering from Autism....it got me hard, real bad coz it got me to appreciate how lucky i am but at the same time sad coz there is so many people wasting there oppurtunities on booze and shit that is simply gonna drag them down....god dammit, there parents though, i feel for them really, their mum is basically barreling down into depression of what the dilemna of both kids are in-Kids born from true love will became great-well i hope it does in this case

Listening to Baby steps by Varsity (THANKS ROLL UNIT)

Bis Spater one and all

P.s GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH hehehehehe naaw jks, im karen LuCk

P.s.s Im losing my well defined body which is now being appreciated by the LADIES ;)

Poems, comics and whole lot of memories to incinerate

Enn Devadai ennai parthal,

avar parvai uyir edukum, uyir kuddukum,

aval odu kann maymarindu parkam tonum,

untha madari ahna kangal

eppoluthu naan avatha pural, aanal oru veen thugadi ahna pural

yenn kadhal seriyo thuvaro, yen kadhal vailiyo sugomo

piidithum piidithum, padathum, paduthum Unnale

I tried to see the good But darkness ate your soul It ate away the sweetness And left nothing but a hole........taste so sour....smell so sour.......feel so sore......

Hmmmmm...i kind of felt for him when i didn’t post the poem so i told him to water it down as a teaser of some sort, one that could be used as a bait and thanks to a chakara kuti (don’t worry even i don’t understand what that means) i shall show his talents in literature ;)

Except what literature is and what reality is a whole lot of different. Yes we can relate to them, however can u really see ureself that farfetched.

CHANGE OF TOPIC :D

There i was one morning without a drive of seeing the end of the one that just got born when i decided to skip looking over covalent bonding, and instead just rummage through some of the material online, and ohhh was i surprised by some of the shit im seeing. I quote “the change rooms as big as Arjun’s dick” bro, we all know its big but not this big ;), but later on i found some real good shit, SUITS= (oi u didn’t copyrite this shit) idk about u but im a different person at home than i am in the public. I aint gonna go into detail, but to be honest its like changing clothes.

Each style represents u....yes i do wear mostly casual or sport related things but shut up.... me as soon as i put my special jacket, i become that hotshot that can do anything he wants, grab a person’s attention for as long as he willed, unstoppable in other words, and then i have my long sleeves that i wear to be serious, and on the task....place the two together and here comes TROuBLE, lately ive put up a new suit, one that im not sure people will see through (Dont fricken come up to me and tell/ask shit, u only are gonna seriously aggravate me :P) so stfu and keep moving..wtf is wit this DNM i swear next time i hear it at school....;)

its funny how anything that falls smack straight into my face when im either at home or at school i can brush up wit a simple 1% of my total intellect, however when its to and from places i would say im the most vunerable... yes just when im changing outfits... just as superman has kryptonite as his nemesis weapon of choice, green lanten and his mind, wolverine and his quest for self realisation, i to will lose, and will lose badly if it ever happens. Well the easy thing for them is that even though they have to live it, they don’t necessarily see it next to them, every day of the working week.

How were we brought to this world huh, oh whole LOT OF CRYING and wit nothing. Yep zip, zero, zilch whatever u want to express zero as. So why do we want so much, why do we want to have that Rolex or Omega instead of a simple watch that costs only 10 dollars....hmm do i call it ego or isit something else, idk about u but i feel for those people who believe it is ‘cool’ or a simply ‘Catch up time’ who simply go shopping for the sake of it. I mean with the money you spend on a Calvin Klein t shirt or a Versace dress, that 150 or 300 + clothing could have been sent of to a world aid centre who could ues it to feed and clothe a half a village . No, im not asking u to call up Tim Costello (faggot) but im asking u to think about those people.

Idk if i should be saying this, but one of my amma’s old neighbour, and when i mean old back when she was still at her dad’s stomping ground, there used to be a boy several years younger than her who was like, hmmm u could say a brother of sorts. Well he somehow managed to track down amma through facebook (SCORE FOR ME) and filled in the details that went blank when amma set of for Colombo. The guy is a fricken genius, he has studied for basically all his life, now finally finishing of his phd at the age of 31, has a kid. You would think he is set for life, well a life that may be cut short anytime soon. Heart attack, or as they say Cardio ....something like that...:D but wat makes it worse is that he and his 4 other brothers have all chipped in to run a ashram....orphanage of sorts, for where theyre mother can teach and nurture these parent less, money less children. Interesting how this life works, studying furiously, without the slightest regard for his health for the future, shows a future with no health. But what struck a chord in both me and my amma was when he said he felt like going back and living the high life of school again....The excitement, the friendship, the girls, the romances, the fights, all of these things. Simply heart breaking.

TO EMOTIONAL CHANGE OF TOPIC :D

Hmmmmm well i did say i would show u my own poem....but before that i would like to talk about my good mate. Bull shit this life is i swear....check out wat someone wrote to him

But now that u know she has moved on its easy for you and you can move on, even though now u will be saying I don't want to move on later u will be like why did I waste so much time on her? But we fall we fall hard and eventually we get back up again. And when u get back up again ***** u will feel on top of the world again. Even though it may take a while.

First of can i say that he isn’t saying.... ‘i don’t want to move on’, instead why can’t i.... i mean its not his fault that whenever he see’s he just wants to rage or go of home.... there is so much misconception around his fiasco that i feel for him, as a friend i cant do anything apart from tell him not to do anything irrational, not to cry for her when she is visably in pain. I mean from wat he tells me, he wants to be friends with everyone having no enemies, however i believe it is the situation that is causing him to be seen alone. One example, the bus, OMG i swear, he cant talk to her group of friends just coz she’s there, dammit AHahahahaha my amma would say continuesly

Ithu yena mayam...What is this illusion

But the thing is, he cant do anything can he, i mean all he feels is pure emotion...one incident that he forgot to mention to me was his run in wit her on the way home....BLOODY HELL... just to avoid her he goes to a seat that was a few rows in front. Now here is the killer blow, the same seat he proposed and serenaded her. So u tell me, hw would it feel to be remembering all those memories flooding through the fragile, temporary gates he just constructed....no matter how low she could go, no matter how far she went, there is no other torture, and sentence than to see someone go that means the world to u

Goddammit, in the mood im in rite now i mite as well put up his original shit

Memorise that i can’t erase

Part of me that i can’t replace

I was lost and now its gone without a trace

I just find it hard to breathe

Baby i wish that i could tell u im sorry

Because Baby i need u, baby i need u, coz im sorry

I wish that i could have u here today

Coz Baby i need u, baby i need u, coz im sorry

Now im stuck in this place coz baby u were everything and now im left with nothing

And if u didn’t knoe, baby i love u so, i wish we made it a good thing

How i could i let u go, i got to let u knoe that u were the best thing

Baby i wish that i didn’t stop talking

Girl I swear ill do, anything

Coz i wish i didn’t walk away

With that as a ending note

Adeusinho

P.s. do me a favour and listen to Nothing Ever Hurt like You by James Morrison pretty sums up.....ill put it up if i figure how

P.s.s. I must say this is one heck of a post...longest one ive done, but then again a lot has happened i guess.....

P.s.s.s. When is the next god dam party for this school, i swear don’t make my party the one to wait for...........mind it ;)

Two glasses of pure scotch and bloody knuckles

Well wat a eventful start to June

mite as well rite up a post where im the protaganist

Basically at nite this is wat ive done studying, test, studying, ISSUES Project....FML....lol

well over this week i finally realise why curry men are so romantic in their own manner. When i mean by romantic images of french kisssing, flowers, and ....that stuff pommels straight into your third eye. But when i think of romantic and curries... i see true love (BEVER and FRANKLIN), not that stupid attraction but actual pure, unconditional love. The love where you can talk about wat ever u want witout any hinderence, give and take, regular talks, OPENESS (first point), the point where sex and objects(and yes i said it) are not needed to show how much u love them but by actually showing them it. Oh shit i sounded like my mentor just then...DANG

*Change in topic*

Ahhhhhh yes, the title it all relates back to CHOICES

The small, small choices we make....the big, big choices we make all hit us in the end. I mean on monday i decided to stay home on the pretence of studying, but wat i do instead i managed to safetly take in two glasses wit any side effects...well only a slight headache

BUT NO im not your typical idiot who drinks so he doesnt need to worry about the nite ahead of him of picking up chicks and showing of to ure mates. NO NO NO NO (one for extra punch) NO

I actually wanted to see what my dad and all my mates see in this "legal drug"....and as far as i see it, when taken steadily its effective. It takes away any pain, any sorrow, any pain, and instead lets u be more open to what is fighting inside u...the good and the bad...the reality and dreams...truth and lies and to be honest, i found myself to really place myself where in the hell i am in life.

I can hear it in your minds...gearing away realising that guy who was gonna go somewhere is now throwing everything away for something this shit. But hey, if u really knoe me, u would knoe that i would think 1 time before i talk, 10 times before i plan something, and 100 times before i do something....AND THEN U CANT CHANGE IT But then again i havent been living up to my values lately, and ive been thinking about it....i feel like doing something but then again it makes me look like the loser so....i aint gonna do shit....like the wise PAPA BEAR said------Show them who the better man is------beautiful one liner.

Which leads me onto my second half of my titile(hehe) yes well hmmm....how can i put it without being looked down upon....(SHUT UP ULAI) well i kind of went on a 4 k run, found the boxing bag to be not upto the task so.... i went to the tiny park 10 metres down my house and demolished three poles, a bent pole and a two bent gates.....yes and this resulted in my left knuckles to bleed and my right to be bruised (i have to get back into the groove). But then again thats not bad considering i have no training from Martial arts or any kind of self defence style.....in fact i havent even gone to a gym (much to the disgrace of myself and to my cousins). Oh yes remind me to work on my arms and trapeziums......Big boy Gorrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeen, loved our topless talk afterschool on wednesday ;)......

But coming back to my main concept if i made the choice not to...most likely now i would be either litening to music that would only make me worse....hmmmmmm but then again even though it hurt like a bitch when blood started to pour out after the second punch in the second gate (Mi star dont fret about this...u arent meant to) i felt like i was gonna finally prove to myself that i can deal with change, and take on a new avatar that can be a paradox (suck on that lit people)smooth but aggressive, aggresive yet with manners, manners with cunning. Yes, im dead serious rite now....sometimes i wonder whether i should have hid that kid inside me instead letting him run riot leaving a blaze of devastation that one could not phantom from such a person....well obviously not many people would have knew about the boy i was and the thing i am now hmmmm......

people ask if im ok basically throughout the school day on the first three days of the school week, thank u from the bottom of my heart but then again some of the shit ive been hearing isnt the material that i thought some of these people are made of....hmmm perfect anology for such people are the different major 3 parts trees, swaying towards the direction best suited for them.

-Their backgrounds their roots, snaking and taking water and nutrients in what there family has

-their school as their trunk, the place where they are fully awake to everything around them

-Their groups as the branches, changing direction for the strongest

-Themselves on the leaves, going along wit the flow

i dont know if it made sense but i swear if people dont act like idiots who actually care in front of me, all hell is gonna break loose. Id rather u say to my face that im a sore loser than use other forms to see what is happening. Funny how much times i have said the words PUNCH ON across the year, but then i see it as a choice(yes if u dont like go suck on it). U can settle a matter, and any matter in fact, on it and go away with no other conscience. However i knoe that there are other repercussion and it can turn out fatal in many ways more than one. Then u have the side when arguments were solved without a good old fist fight. Bitching, swearing, grudges, smear campaigns to give u a taste of shit thats past my way, when shit like this werent solved at the start. Yes i knoe, u would thinking its bullshit but then think again, have u in the last month thought about talking behind a person's back about what she or he has done? Have u talked on line through chat about wat this person feels for that person? Have u talked about why this person feels this way....well for many instances, i know that many of it were started to get back at people....and steering rite for the JoMo way....spread it like a tiny spark in dense, dry drought affected forests.

hmmmmm a bit to personal but then again its only my thoughts just rolling on like a ball down a mountain.....reaching a crescendo, with big fireworks. But, the thing is, im not in a school where i can do shit all and still look like the good boy. No, at the spaceship, the burden of House captain especially for me is one that restricts me in many ways...however lets me do shit but then even the circle im often seen as the bludger even though im giving a different perspective in a light mannered way...hmmmmmm

Bueno adiós (well maybe not Bueno for some who dare think they can blame me for some shit)

But i believe that i said that my good mate was gonna write up a poem......well he did, and its to heavy for me to post it up, its one cracker of a poem could even use it up as a song but damn man (yes that means u) it makes u cry (yes i got a tear or two forming) but i aint gonna show u guys his brilliance yet, he needs time to kill, i think seeing her makes it even worse...the bastards even thought about ending it all. But as we all knoe who comes to the rescue ME and shown him the world so remember dont think about messin wit him coz he knows when that's happening